She Told Me So

It happened a few months ago, but it was only today that I really was able to take time to think about it.  My livingroom, kitchen, dining room, and hall are empty.  Empty of kids is what I mean.  I remember the days that they were running around the house, in and out, trampling under my feet, snuggled up on the couch, and getting play doh all over the table and floors.  The kids being all around the house and getting in my way doesn't happen much anymore and I miss it.  I remember being stressed out and overwhelmed just a few years ago and people would tell me to enjoy it.  I thought they were crazy.  There's one thing I do know, I believe I was enjoying it at the time.  There were times I thought I wasn't having fun, but in reality, I know I was happy with the company of my kids.  Oh, they are still around.  In fact, Madison just came in here to show me a picture she painted on canvas.  However, the kids enjoy their time alone in their rooms, or at their grandparent's house, sports, being outside, or with friends.  I am enjoying this season of life too, but I must say that I do miss those times when they were little and under my feet.  Yep,  mama was right.

Shutting the Door

My parents have an attic fan and if it's on when someone walks in or out the front door, it will slam.  Not only does it make a really loud noise, it seems to make the front part of the house shake.  You have to hold the door handle and ease it shut and it seems like none of us remember to do that.  Everyone knows that the door has been shut on days the attic fan is running by the sound and by the rattle of the house.  We also might know it by someone yelling, "don't slam the door the attic fan is on, HOLD THE HANDLE!"   Then I think of early morning times when everyone is getting ready for school and I call one of my kids, but I don't get an answer.  I will look down the hall and notice the bathroom light on and the door is shut.  I didn't hear one little sound of the door shutting, not a squeak, nothing. 

That's what happened to me last week.  A door shut in my life and it took me a day or so to realize that I had quietly shut the door.  I don't know who knows about Phillip and me being divorced, but I wouldn't think it's many.  Alot of people may not even know we have been living apart for over 1 1/2 years.  Nobody really understands what another person goes through and the hurt they experience.  I know it is easier for someone to understand a situation if they have been through it themselves.  I know that no matter what I say people are going to have their own opinion.  They will think we should have worked it out, stayed together, he is wrong, I am wrong, etc.  I know this because I was just there last week in this kind of thinking.  I finally accepted that Phillip has no deep emotions and he doesn't form healthy attachments.  I accepted that I have to move on and to give Phillip to God ( something that God told me to do three different occasions standing in the congregation of High Praises church).  The peace of giving him to God was like a mist of rain.  I was experiencing the gentle mist of God's peace last week while a huge dark storm was all around me in another area of my life.  I was in the midst of a storm, something that was ripping my heart out, while the soothing water slowly fell on me washing the hurt away one drop at a time.  Something I was going through helped me realize and helped me shut the door on another area of my life.  The storm raged and the wind blew, but the mist from the storm softly washed away hurt and left a peace that only God can give.

What I Know

It's been a very long time since I have posted on this blog.  My intent is to jot some thoughts down and share with you a few things that I have learned along this home schooling journey and my life journey as well.  My posts may be very random but I do hope someone will benefit from what I have to say.  When I feel that I have said enough, this blog will no longer be mine to post on because I am not a home school mom any longer ( at least not what society sees as a home school mom).

When I clicked to this page, the first thing my eye looked to was my scripture that I claimed for our school years ago.  The Lord has shown me many things along the way, especially in the last few months.  I'm amazed at how far we have come.  My first memory of even the thought of home schooling was when my friend Rainee told me she was going to home school her children.  I had no idea someone could even teach their own child, but she was so enthusiastic that I knew that's what I wanted to do if I had children of my own.  I also feel that my desire to teach my kids was also God's plan.  Phillip and I had our first son several years later after I talked to Rainee and I worked toward being able to stay home with him and teach my baby.  Of course Madison graced us with her beautiful face 18 months after Michael was born.  I was a little devastated, but I clung to my belief in teaching my kids the ways of the Lord.  When Madison was three, we even added a third child to our little family.  That was not in MY plan, but what an adventure we have had!  I can remember my first year in teaching my two oldest.  I had that room set up just like a school room!  I don't think I ever taught them in that room though.  We would always bring our books to the dining room table.  It's funny thinking about it now.  I had friends that would come over and wish they had a room for school and I would tell them we didn't really use it.  I did keep everything in that one room which was very convenient and it was so nice to have that much room for our school items.  If you're wondering how I taught the kids when Melanie was a baby,  I will let you in on a little secret.  Melanie was VERY content to be in her crib playing.

A Staycation?

We always do something for memorial day weekend.  This year we are on a tight budget.  So, what's a family to do?  We camp.  We aren't camping at just any campground though, we are camping in my parents backyard!  The kids are really excited about this.  I went today and bought a few beach type decorations to decorate the pool area.  I also bought a few new pool toys and food to cook out.  I bought the decorations at the Dollar Tree.  If you haven't taken a trip to the dollar store lately, you should drop in!

 We are just going to enjoy the pool, shade, sun, books, food, and whatever other cool FREE things to do.  It should be a relaxing weekend and at the end maybe I will have a tan :-) 

Blessed

I am still amazed at how God works.  These two couples pictured with Phil and I are originally from the lower part of the state.  I knew them years and years ago.  Unfortunately, life changes and sometimes I don't keep in touch with people like I should.  I did post a few months back about getting back in touch with Veronica (3rd from left).  We have been in touch since then several times.  The couple to the left are becoming dear friends also.  They are in the process of moving to my hometown.  I am still amazed at how things come about.  I would have never thought that anyone would be moving from the Charleston area to a small town I grew up in.  How odd is that?  God is so good. and I know that he is in control.  I feel so blessed to be able to have Christian friends who love the Lord! 

I've never been one to really have many people over to my house.  It's not that I don't want to, but I guess I am just not comfortable cooking for others and having to keep a conversation going.  I'm learning though.  This past weekend we all hung out at our house and it was so relaxing and very enjoyable.  It was nice to be able to share a good meal with friends and have lots of laughter.  I know this is the beginning of a great new season for Phil and I.  God is so good to bless us with good fellowship.  I can not imagine not having friends who have God in the center of their lives to share life with!

3 WEEKS INTO THE SCHOOL YEAR

We have been schooling for 3 weeks and everything is going very well.  Actually, I think it's going better than any other year.  What's the difference?  Well, I have made it a point in starting school no later than 8:30 every morning.  I also am teaching English to Michael and Madison together.  We also start our day off in prayer.  It's sad, but I don't think I have done this before.  We would say our blessing in years past and pray at night, but never pray about our day in the morning.  The kids are helping a little more with keeping the house clean too.

It does seem that Melanie still has a lot of free time on her hands while I'm teaching the other two.  Yesterday we went to the Dollar Tree and I found some great little prepackaged crafts.  I am going to see how that works for next week.  I know how to come up with our own crafts, but a craft that's already prepackaged is GREAT!

I have even been able to work about 10 hours per week!  I pray this schedule will continue going so smooth!

YES YOU CAN

Have you ever wanted to learn how to do something but put off learning how?  That's exactly what I did with learning how to crochet.  I remember when I was probably around 9 years old and the ladies at our church would meet and crochet.  At that time, mama learned and all I did was learn how to crochet one loooong chain.  The main reason I never learned how to do anything more was because I am left handed.  Do you know how hard it is for a person who is left handed to learn something from a person who is right handed?  Well, it's very hard for me to understand how to do something looking at someone who is doing it the opposite way!  I gave up years ago and didn't pick it back up until  few years ago.  Unfortunately, I do not remember the next learning experience so I am going by what mama told me.  It was during the time I was pregnant (don't know which child but it was possibly Madison) and I wanted to learn to make a blanket.  I gave that up too.  I think mama said she has the piece somewhere that I worked on but I'm not sure.  I must have had a terrible experience with it because I believe I have blocked the whole episode from my confused brain.  I'm sure you have NEVER done anything like that before, right?  Something so ridiculous that you want to forget it and not think about it again in you whole entire life?  That blanket must have been something else!  Anyway, life has been a whirlwind since those days but now I feel it's time to focus again on something I want to do.  A few months ago I really felt the need to do something for someone else.  I wanted to start some kind of ministry that I could do.  I remembered hearing about prayer shawls.  Basically, you crochet a shawl and pray for the person that you will be giving it to while you are making it.  I decided that I would like to try something like that.  I bought a beginner book, needle, and yarn (again).  I did learn a few things from the book but I was still struggling with how to do other stitches.  Mama helped me a bit and also a lady from our church.  I still wasn't satisfied with what I was doing.  It was really hard for me to understand.  I did make a couple of dishcloths and even a couple of hats.  What really helped me "get it" was videos from you tube!  I was able to find many videos that showed exactly how to crochet so many kinds of stitches and things.  The videos were in slow motion also.                                                                                                                      

I finally was able to make a prayer shawl for a lady at church.  I was sooooo happy.  The above picture is the blanket I finally finished  for myself.  I worked on it earlier in the year and then I stopped when it got so hot.  I decided the other week that I wanted to finish the blanket.  It's not perfect and I have still have alot to learn, but I did it!  If you are wanting to learn something new, keep trying and I know there has got to be a way for you to do what you want!  I am sure that you could bless others with what you learn to do also.  What a blessing it is to serve one another!

I know it took me years to be able to learn how to crochet, but I would have learned sooner if I hadn't gave up in the first place.  The girls are learning how to crochet now, but what's funny is that mama is having to show Madison because she is right handed.  I don't have a problem with teaching Melanie because she is left handed just like me.  What a joy to be able to pass along something that seems to be a dying art.